'Tis said the only thing more traumatic than moving is getting married. I don't think that's true, but then I've moved several hundred times more than I've been married. Each move is more traumatic than the last. How to remedy this problem. Well, I have the answer. You may find the answers in my soon-to-be published book, "Dave's Asset Management Nostrums!". ("Nostrums?" Hey, I needed a good acronym.) Besides, I'm lying about writing a book. However, I'm here to help, and I promised Veronica on Fire I would offer tips to relieve the anxiety of unpacking.
You've seen them - moving sales. You may have even gone to a few of these curbside bazaars. Truly bizarre bazaars. The stuff that's for sale - junk - is grossly overpriced and rarely has any genuine value. Makes you wonder what the mover is taking along. Well, I'll tell ya. More junk. Packing! The very essence of masochism.
Herewith a checklist covering the initial steps in packing for a move to the unpacking at your new abode:
1. Dispense with pretense. Don't even pretend that the stuff you're taking is indispensable. Be advised, you will fail at this task, and you will end up taking virtually all the possessions you have accumulated over the years, but cannot possibly leave behind. Some day you will need that thing you can no longer identify, but know it was at some time in the past very important. That's why you still have it after 37 moves. You WILL need it some day.
2. The seed has been planted. Maybe you won't need some of this stuff that requires not one, but two U-Haul's. Yup, the stuff you have is that important. Never mind that the guidelines of the rental outfit say you have enough cargo space to fill several auditoriums.
3. This is the key step. It's so important that I'm actually going to learn how to embed a link. After you have arrived at your destination, clear a space in the front yard. Carefully unpack each box. Break the box down for recycling purposes. Examine the contents. Can't remember if you fit the article of clothing. (Yoohoo! You haven't worn it in a long time have you?) That should be a clue. Fiyah, I said FIYAH
4. Repeat this process with every item that comes out of your trucks. Uh-oh! (You forgot to notify the Fire Department didn't you?)
5. When you have apologized to the firefighters and finished your controlled burn, you should have one cast iron skillet, a spork, a simple black dress, and a bar of soap.
6. Veronica, you're welcome.